Teacher Miggy?!

2009 has been the greatest year of my life so far. I have matured in so many ways, and now look up to a bright future as a teacher. It started off quite shaky… Approximately one year ago, I was hooked on video games and was wasting money that was not my own.

Things got back on track when I participated in Club Journey’s 10 day camp for special children, which was held in Iba, Zambales. For 10 days, I spent my time with Kennedy, a young man with Mental Retardation and Cerebral Palsy. Taking care of yourself is something, but taking care of others is something else. We were separated from all the luxuries of urban life, and I really enjoyed the experience. Several months after the camp, I look back and think that the experience didn’t take away what we enjoyed, it opened our eyes to what we already have.

At the camp, I remember our professor, my mentor, and very good friend, Mr. Rodel Beltran say: “the camp is an experience that is one of a kind. A few months after this, you’ll be able to find out who you truly are”.

Right now, I am very happy to proclaim that I have found out who I truly am. I have let go of all of my insecurities,  most of which revolve around guilt. You see, I am very much blessed, and all of these blessings have molded me to what I am today. Whenever I recall the blessings I have, I used to experience depression. I used to feel guilt from all the blessings I have. I have this mindset that whenever you are blessed with anything, it is absolutely necessary that you try your best to give something else in return. I used to be always guilty that I would never be able repay everything and everyone.

After the camp, the words my professor said never left my mind. I made it a point to think about my actions, and verify if these actions were truly the actions of my true self.

For several months, I found out that I did things anyone wouldn’t like. I found out that in some instances, I got used to lying to get myself out of anything. I was disgusted at myself when I realized this, and tried very hard to change it. Now, I am happy that this habit of lying is long gone. It’s something I don’t have to add to my New Year’s Resolutions.

During the second half of ‘09, there was a drastic change in my life. I can’t recall when exactly it happened, but I remember two events that triggered the change: 1) When I began my OJT(On the job training), and 2)When I received communion regularly again.

I noticed the change when I started my OJT. The kids melt my heart everyday I spend with them, and my OJT is my main reason for making this blog. I miss the students, and look forward to spending the rest of my senior year with them.

When I went back to God and started receiving communion again, I sort of felt lighter, I felt happier. This feeling was accompanied with things running so well in my life, and I have never felt any happier. Yeah, somethings could be better, but I think that my return to God will help me overcome these trials. I now have a much better outlook on life.

The best thing about this year, is that I have created a more solid foundation for my relationships. I have made better connections with both family and friends, simply by reconnecting with them. A couple of years back, I used to think why there was any point in logging in to my Yahoo messenger. I never really talked much with anyone anyway. Now, I’m glad that the group messages have been replaced with personal messages, from both friends and family.

Before the ‘09 ended, I did something greedy, that made me really disappointed in myself. This wasn’t something the real Miggy would do. That was a six and a half hours ago, right before we had our New Year dinner. Again, I became guilty that with all the blessings I had, I still wanted more.

I don’t know how this went away. Visitors came which distracted me from the guilt. After a great dinner with family, and an even better fireworks display, it all went away again. I pondered on this, and just a few minutes ago, I found my answer. I no longer feel guilty with the blessings I have, because I am very much confident that I will do my part someday.

These next three months are the last of my years as a student. With an awesome summary of my past year, you would think that I would be really sad to make my transition to the world of work. I am very very very much happy to say, that I do not feel any sadness whatsoever. This great year is exactly what I needed to look forward to the future. 2009 has made me ready for anything.
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Every new year, you see and hear the words “A New Beginning” a million times. After a great year, I wish that anyone who had an awesome 09 not keep these words to mind. Rather than a new beginning, I think “to be continued” would be very much better. Continue to grow, to connect, and more importantly, to love. Happy New Year everyone!